A Parenting Question I Didn’t Expect

On parental imprinting.

If My Son Chose a Partner Like Me ...

"If my son chose a partner who was “me” — operating as I do, perceiving and behaving just like I do — how would I feel?"

What a big question.

I don’t have a son, so I had to pause and imagine what it would feel like to raise one.

I have daughters. And so far, I know how to raise my daughters. I’ve raised them to be strong-willed, highly capable, sensitive, soulful, and loving young women.

This question made me realise something important: my system — and my parenting — has been overcompensating for both roles.

The role of the mother and the father.

If I were raising a son, I would parent quite differently.

And that surprised me.

For my daughters, imprinting off a strong mother has made sense.

But imagining raising a son has revealed something else — my hardness right now.

So thank you for the question. It brought a few skeletons out of the closet — not in a shaming way, but in a clarifying one. It points to what still needs attention, and what is still unfolding.

I know that part of my journey — over the next two to fifty years — is the integration of the Sacred Masculine and the Sacred Feminine within me.

My Soul is welcoming that marriage.

And yet, I can feel my blind spots.

I don’t yet see the full terrain of the Sacred Masculine — all the texture, the depth, the transformation and transmutation it holds. Even listening to Lee Harris’s Sacred Masculine track has made those blind spots more visible.

The same is true, in a different way, for the Sacred Feminine.

I am more familiar with this terrain, but I still can’t say I see its full breadth — all the way to the horizon.

There is so much yet to be unravelled.

And I know this: a sovereign life partner will play an important role in that unfolding — in my healing, my learning, and my integration.